A Fairy-Tale of New York by J. P. Donleavy

By J. P. Donleavy

A Fairy story of recent York is a humorous, lusty, and unhappy novel of comedian genius.

Returning from research in another country, Cornelius Christian enters customs along with his baggage and his useless spouse. His first stumble upon in ny is with a funeral director, with whom he reluctantly takes employment to pay for the burial costs. during his tasks he meets the attractive Fanny Sourpuss over her millionaire husband's useless physique. even though, his over-enthusiastic dealing with of his first corpse lands him in court.

Cornelius Christian wanders in the course of the nice unhappy cathedral that's big apple, studying the human situation in all its comedian pathos and lonely absurdity. no matter if lingering within the Automat consuming from part empty espresso cups and stealing baked beans from the plates of shoppers who go searching for ketchup, or discovering love on a road nook merely to finish up scuffling with his approach out of a hooker's fists, Cornelius Christian, heroic anti-hero, sings of life's goodness within the wake of catastrophe.

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I put it down only to shower and masturbate. You know how when you pine after something really badly, like a cool toy or a new car or whatever, once you get it, it’s never as good as you imagined it would be? This was the opposite. This was so much better than I could’ve ever dreamed. No possession of mine, before or since, has ever completed me the way that bullhorn did; it embodied all of the characteristics that I consider most essential to myself… and amplified them. Arguing: I was pretty good at debating with people before, but now, I had a permanent trump card.

It was like that. Except with nerds. ” The embarrassed silence was all the confirmation I needed. SlingBlade “HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHHAHAH! ” I fucking lit them up: Tucker “WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO??? NOTHING!! YOU’RE GOING BACK DOWN TO YOUR MUDDY GHETTO! YOU CAN’T BEAT ME! I HAVE A BULLHORN, AND YOU HAVE NOTHING, BECAUSE I AM SMART AND YOU ARE STUPID! ” They milled around for a second more, then walked back down the hill. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt more like a real warrior in my life. Tucker “TENT CITY, YOUR PITIFUL ASSAULT HAS BEEN REPELLED!

He’s jus so leetle! ” That did it. Four of them got up their courage and ran up the hill. I know the one dude had just “threatened” me, but in the moment, it honestly didn’t even occur to me that they would try to get physical. These grad students had taken our relentless mocking for hours because they were pussies. I mean, pussies are pussies—it’s not just a word. When they got to the top of the hill, they saw all my friends behind us that they couldn’t see from down below, and they kinda stopped and milled around for a second, unsure of what to do.

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