American Freak Show: The Completely Fabricated Stories of by Willie Geist

By Willie Geist

“Willie Geist is one half Twain, one half Carrot best, elements Heckle, and one half Jeckle.”
—John Heilemann and Mark Halperin, authors of Game Change

“I’ve learn laminated plane safeguard playing cards with better highbrow heft. Turning critical: Willie Geist is the appropriate man to chronicle our decidedly imperfect times."
—Brian Williams, NBC Nightly News anchor and dealing with editor

In the hilarious big apple instances bestseller American Freak Show, Geist takes the clever, biting commentary enjoyed through his tv viewers to new satirical extremes. The real-life characters who now hang-out our day-by-day lives are solid as stars in thoroughly made-up scenes which are frighteningly with regards to reality.

Geist offers us the 1st examine President Sarah Palin’s unconventional 2012 inaugural handle, played survive WWE’s Monday evening Raw. We cross contained in the ballroom for a Dean Martin–style welcome roast of Bernie Madoff upon his arrival in Hell, with Pol Pot serving as roastmaster. George W. Bush’s batting-cage-and-waterslide-themed plans for a presidential library are laid out publicly for the 1st time. And new for the paperback version, Geist places us within the room as Jesus joins fb, with assistance from a modern day messiah named Mark Zuckerberg.

From Obama to Oprah, Afghanistan to Lohan, Snooki to the Salahis, Willie Geist spares not anyone as our host of this wild American Freak Show. You’ll chuckle out loud whereas weeping for the way forward for the United States.

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Additional resources for American Freak Show: The Completely Fabricated Stories of Our New National Treasures

Sample text

The ladies and courtiers were all most magnificently clad, so that the spot they stood upon seemed to resemble a petticoat spread on the ground, embroidered with figures of gold and silver. His Imperial Majesty spoke often to me, and I returned answers, but neither of us could understand a syllable. There were several of his priests and lawyers present (as I conjectured by their habits) who were commanded to address themselves to me, and I spoke to them in as many languages as I had the least smattering of, which were High and Low Dutch, Latin, French, Spanish, Italian, and Lingua Franca; but all to no purpose.

His men conspire against ... Chapter II - The Author conducted by a Houyhnhnm to his house. The house ... Chapter III - The Author studious to learn the language; the Houyhnhnm his ... Chapter IV - The Houyhnhnms’ notion of truth and falsehood. The Author’s ... Chapter V - The Author, at his master’s command, informs him of the state of ... Chapter VI - A continuation of the state of England under Queen Anne. The ... Chapter VII - The Author’s great love of his native country. His master’s ... Chapter VIII - The Author relates several particulars of the Yahoos.

Within each of these was enclosed a prodigious plate of steel; which, by our orders, we obliged him to show us, because we apprehended they might be dangerous engines. He took them out of their cases, and told us, that in his own country his practice was to shave his beard with one of these, and to cut his meat with the other. There were two pockets which we could not enter: these he called his fobs; they were two large slits cut into the top of his middle cover, but squeezed close by the pressure of his belly.

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